Sass

Grunkle: Have you seen the clock this morning?
Granny: The clock? As in C-L-O-C-K?
Grunkle: Yes, it's a timing device.

Me (writing a letter): My grandparents are awesome.
Granny: No, you don't have to give the PR about your grandparents.
Me: Oh, but I do.
Granny: No you don't. (rawr)

Granny: (talking to the printer) Oh shave off, I've done it again.

Grunkle's Toast Lecture:
You know, M----, most toaster don't work properly. They burn the toast or they leave it underdone, that's why this toaster is the best, because if you watch it carefully it does it just right and (toast starts smoking) oh bugger I've burnt it!