News, Porn and The Euro Crisis

Here in the midst of the euro crisis, frankly I remain as unaware as I care to do so about the apparent catastrophes waiting to break over everyone's unwashed heads (jokes jokes, french people do take baths... yearly).

However, in order to practice my reading comprehension skills and gain new vocabulary (typically english words that have been poached) I like to read a variety of newspapers and online media sites. Le Monde and their magazine are consistent favorites, and when I'm in residence chez Grandparents, Figaro magazine. It's rather trashy, in my opinion, as there are plenty of half naked, suggestive, deplorably unsexy ads around the repetitive articles. Cosmopolitan in france is the same as Cosmo in the U.S., only full nudity is a must.

The innocent midwesterner is consistently shocked.

Another habit I indulge in is spending an embarrassing amount of time reading the NYTimes and the Economist. I occasionally cheat on them with the Washington Post, or the Star Tribune, but in general I remain faithful on the daily. The Opinionator conversation between Gail Collins and David Brooks makes my day. So much snark and sass and random tangents. Or Nicholas Kristoff Columns, which I obsess over.

Lately however, the book reviews in the economist are my jam.

Part of my love for The Economist stems from their pompous yet profoundly clever rants, such as one article from November which raged against "vile Americanisms." BBC news is also great for this, especially the "50 of your most noted examples"

My favorite would have to be number 13. So much unnecessary self-hate.


14. I caught myself saying "shopping cart" instead of shopping trolley today and was thoroughly disgusted with myself. I've never lived nor been to the US either. Graham Nicholson, Glasgow


You stay proud of that fact Mr. Nicholson. Thoroughly disgusting.

Another french magazine I dare not even attempt is called "Le Canard Enchainé." The Chained Duck. Filled with heavy ephemisms and complicated jokes and obscure frenchie trifles, there is no way in hell I would get even the basic humor. Apparently some people find it appealing... bully for you.

On the more "obvious humor" side we have Le Monte newspaper, a joke newspaper which is a play on "Le Monde" had the headline today of, "Stimulation Economique? Dans ton cul!"

Which is "Economic stimulation? In your ass!" Delightfully accompanied by a nakey pic of Francois Hollande, the socialist candidate (PS=partie socialiste= Party Sexy) and Nicolas Sarkozy in post-coital cuddling mode.

If only the french schooling system permitted them to argue with their teachers, maybe they'd be less inclined to act out later on with such distasteful and immoral headlines. All the neocons back home have good reason to be suspicious of a country with a taste for such things. Disgraceful. We ought to overreact before it gets to be an actual problem we need to meddle in.

We get daily updates on the "euro crisis" generally in the form of clever german phrases and the wedding planned by Merkozy (or Sarkel as Mr. Le President and the Madame Chancellor prefer in public). Their partnership is somewhat lauded over here, although I wonder whether it will go the way of most celebrity marriages...

We shall see. Until then, your shocked and subdued correspondent signs off, to go find some puddles to jump in. Live the dream.